Question of the month

Ask a BCBA! Click on the arrows below to view the question of the month, the response from a BCBA, and an important disclaimer.

Hi GVBSC BCBA,

Whenever I tell my child they can't have something or do something they want, they lose it! Do you have any suggestions on how I can say no to my child without them feeling like it's the end of the world and without me wanting to tear my hair out?

Sincerely,

I just want to say 'no' sometimes

Dear I just want to say 'no' sometimes,

We all want to feel a sense of control in our lives—children included. Saying "no" can sometimes feel like we're taking away that control, which can lead to resistance, frustration, and challenging behavior. While it's necessary to set limits, how we do it can make a big difference. Kudos to you for tackling this challenge with intention!

A few helpful strategies include:

Validation: Acknowledge your child’s wants so they feel heard. This can simply be repeating back to them what they said they wanted with no extra information.
Setting boundaries with choices: Offer two acceptable options instead of a flat "no." These should be side by side choices, offering two alternatives in the same sentence, rather than waiting for a response to one before offering another. The choices should be of the same sensory mode, meaning they could fulfill the same need your child was trying to fulfill.
Teaching alternatives: Help your child learn other ways to get their needs met. If saying 'no' had to do with how they asked, take a moment to teach them an appropriate way to ask, then give them what they asked for immediately.
Coping skills: Support your child through disappointment when the answer still can't be "yes." Sometimes this might include just sitting with them while they work through high emotions.

TIP! Try to reserve “no” for high-stakes situations (e.g., safety). Overusing it can reduce its impact and miss opportunities to teach more adaptive behaviors.

Example
Child: “Can I have a cookie?”
Caregiver: “You really want a cookie. Cookies are for after dinner. You can have fruit or chips.”

In this example, the caregiver validates the child’s desire, clearly communicates the boundary without using "no," and offers choices that may still meet the child’s sensory need (sweet or crunchy). If the child remains upset, stay connected, offer support, and let them process the feeling. This helps build emotional regulation over time.

Sincerely,

GVBSC BCBA

Disclaimer:

The information provided in response to community questions reflects general, evidence-based strategies that may be helpful when implemented correctly. However, these strategies are not intended to replace individualized Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) services or other professional recommendations. Without a comprehensive understanding of the individual’s unique history, environment, and needs, these suggestions may not fully address the challenges presented.

In ABA services, effective teaching typically involves modeling, role-play, and feedback—not just verbal or written explanations. Families may require more direct support from a BCBA to ensure strategies are applied safely and effectively.

Our Mission

Grand Valley Behavior is a team of passionate and skilled Board-Certified Behavior Analysts and Registered Behavior Technicians, using trauma assumed Applied Behavior Analysis. GVBSC emphasizes outdoor and naturalistic environment teaching, and partners with families, clients, and therapy teams across the Western Slope to support confident and capable children and caregivers.

GVBSC professionals are able to serve clients, ages 1 - 21, of all abilities; however, our staff are certified in Professional Crisis Management and Skills Based Treatment, 2 of the most current, evidence-based, trauma informed practices for working with individuals with severe challenging behaviors.

What sets us apart

At GVBSC, we use "NEW ABA" to support our clients' growth. What does that mean?

AT GVBSC, NEW ABA:

Is relationship, assent, and consent based.
Employs staff certified in Skills Based Treatment, including Level 6 trainers, and Professional Crisis Management, including PCM instructors.
Provides services in multiple settings to support changes in behavior.
Provides trauma assumed and compassionate care.
Uses natural reinforcers and contingencies.
Respects and encourages neurodiversity.
Places a greater emphasis on skill building.
Recommends hours based on individual need, using a dosage chart.
Families and caregivers are respected as collaborative partners in their child's treatment.

OUTDATED, OLD SCHOOL ABA INCLUDES:

Services provided in limited environments, such as in an individual room, for extended periods of time.
Restrictions an individual’s ability to leave the room.
High levels of contrived reinforcement.
High levels of punishment and repetition to change behavior.
A focus on reducing challenging behaviors rather than teaching new skills.
Work to fit neurodiverse individuals into societal standards rather than accepting neurodiversity.

Our Philosophy

At GVBSC, we work as a team to empower caregivers and clients to achieve the skills they need to access a meaningful and fulfilling life. We create treatment plans based on our clients' unique strengths, needs, hopes and dreams and prioritize the client and their family’s perspective when determining what goals will be most meaningful and result in the best outcomes.

At GVBSC, to maintain an environment where vulnerability is valued as a critical component of learning and empowerment, we operate with kindness, compassion, integrity, and respect for the perspectives each team member and client bring to our community.

Our Settings

We have 3 center-based locations, 2 in downtown Grand Junction and 1 in the Redlands. However, we provide services in multiple settings: home, community, and in our centers. GVBSC prioritizes outdoor learning and recognizes the value added to our clients' learning when we do not restrict their ability to learn in nature. Our center settings are designed to support both individual and social skills and to enhance development across developmental domains (communication, cognitive, social, emotional, motor, and adaptive),

Click here to check out more of our setting:

See our settings

Cultural responsivity and diversity statement

“The world in which you were born is just one model of reality. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit.”

– Wade Davis

At GVBSC, we recognize and have a deep respect for and understanding that every client, family, GVBSC team member, and collaborator comes to us with their own distinct values, traditions, experiences, background, hopes and dreams.

We demonstrate this respect through our commitment to and recognition of the many dimensions of diversity, and through our support of racial, linguistic, neurological, physical, gender, ethnicity, age and overall cultural diversity in our organization and in our services.

The GVBSC team is proud to represent all aforementioned dimensions of diversity.

Translation Services

At GVBSC, we strongly believe that language should not be a barrier to accessing high-quality services. To support our clients and families who speak languages other than English, GVBSC uses Southeast Spanish for translation services at no cost to our clients. If you would like to take advantage of this no cost translation service, please contact Allison Goryl, GVBSC’s office administrator, at 970-317-7175. Additionally, GVBSC uses CentralReach, a leading software and services platform, which includes documentation, resources, and customer support to assist Spanish speaking users. CentralReach has a client portal, which allows parents or caregivers to login to their own CentralReach account to access personalized data sheets, session notes, appointments and more. Finally, GVBSC also staffs multiple bilingual Registered Behavior Technicians who can implement treatment in Spanish for families whose primary language is Spanish.

Videos and Use of Closed Captioning

GVBSC is committed to ensuring our video consent is accessible to everyone. As such, all of our videos are hosted through CentralReach, Relias, and Zoom, with built-in closed captioning features included. For more information on enabling the closed captioning features, please contact the GVBSC office administrator, Allison Goryl.

Accessibility:

GVBSC makes every reasonable accommodation for clients that may have a documented disability to access services. These accommodations may include specialized equipment, technology, and the physical set up of the organization’s physical locations. Our clinic spaces are handicap-accessible and provide easy access for a wide range of physical disabilities. If you require additional accommodation, please contact your supervisor or our office administrator, Allison Goryl.

Grand Valley Behavior: services and consulting

Grand Valley Behavior: services and consulting